Art of WOD’n
The Art of War: Translated by a CrossFitter, trainer, and sarcastic bastard
It is a matter of life and death, a road either to safety or to ruin. Hence it is a subject of inquiry which can on no account be neglected.
Warn your new clients who haven’t worked out in a long time or are older and de-conditioned not to row a 1:30 500m row on their first baseline or you might possibly kill the fucker or give them rhabdo.
The Commander stands for the virtues of wisdom, sincerely, benevolence, courage and strictness.
A trainer is there for a reason, ignore what he has to say and you have no one but yourself to blame for the consequences, even if it’s months down the line Mr.Horrible Squatter.
Now, when your weapons are dulled, your ardor damped, your strength exhausted and your treasure spent, other chieftains will spring up to take advantage of your extremity. Then no man, however wise, will be able to avert the consequences that must ensue.
If you walk into the gym on your 5th day on and you’re tired as shit, sore as a mother and hurting all over or you are sleep deprived and stressed the fuck out, you better believe all of your friends are going to kick your ass in the WOD and you’re going to feel like a dumbass for not resting.
There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare.
Just because you program a “badass WOD” to be 5 hours long doesn’t mean it’s going to make you stronger.
What the ancients called a clever fighter is one who not only wins, but excels in winning with ease.
The athlete who knows himself, trains hard according to his weaknesses and strengths and commonly wins the competition with composure is part of the true Elite.
There are not more than five musical notes, yet the combinations of these five give rise to more melodies than can ever be heard.
Just because the movements are easy, does not mean that the combination of reps, movements and time will not own you.
Knowing the place and the time of the coming battle, we may concentrate from the greatest distances in order to fight.
Prepare for you training with recovery, diet and mobility so that when the time comes you’ll perform at your best.
We cannot enter into alliances until we are acquainted with the designs of our neighbors.
Know your teammates if you want to win team competitions.
Let your rapidity be that of the wind, your compactness that of the forest.
Stay tight and lift aggressively!
He who exercises no forethought but makes light of his opponents is sure to be captured by them.
We all know that guy or girl who’s always talking trash, calling people out or just pretending to be a badass. Well those people usually get their ass handed to them in the workouts. Dark Horses are quiet.
